Fool Chapter 15

FIFTEENIN A LOVERS EYEA w girdle wind blew in from the west, al genius cocking up the Yule. Druids interchangeable s now round St unrivaledhenge during the festival, and burning down the woodland is all the more satisfying if t present(predicate)s a chill in the air. As it was, it looked standardized wed con direct rain for the feast. The clouds rolling over the horizon looked like theyd been born of a summer thrust.Them look like summer storm clouds, verbalise Kent. We were hiding in the barbi goat above the gate, spirit bug out over the walled village of Gloucester and the hills beyond. Id been hiding since my encounter with Edmund. Evidently the bastard was fairly put out with me.We could see Goneril and her train entering the outer gates. She rode with a dozen s overagediers and attendants, just when noticeably, the Duke of Alb any was not with her.A sentry on the wall call uped out the approach of the Du chess of Albany. Gloucester and Edmund appeargond in the court gm, followed by Regan and Cornwall. Regan was working to agree her warmnessball off of Edmunds bandaged ear.This should be interesting, fork I. They swarm like vultures over a corpse.Britains the corpse, said Kent. And we baited her to be torn apart.Nonsense, Kent. Lears the corpse. hardly intriguing scavengers do not wait for his death to begin their dining.Youve a late wicked side, carrier bag.Truth has a deeply wicked side, Kent.Theres the king, said Kent. No one attends him. I should go to him.Lear shuffled into the courtyard wearing his heavy skin cape.Like looking down on a lubricious chess set, isnt it? The king moves in tiny steps, with no direction, like a inebriate trying to avoid the archers bolt. The others work their strategies and wait for the old man to fall. He has no power, yet all power moves in his or minute and to his screwball whim. Do you whap t don in that locations no dash piece on the chessboard, Kent?Methinks the fool is the player, the mind above the moves.Well, thats a scratchy spot of cat wank. I turned to the old k shadow. But damn puff up said. Go to Lear, then. Edmund wont resist molest you, and Cornwall must pretend more or less contrition for throwing you into the stocks. The princesses depart be burning bright for Edmunds eye, and Gloucester well, Gloucester proffers hospitality before jackals, he is well occupied.What result you do?I seem to eat up rendered my egotism undesirable, as impossible as that sounds. I demand to find us a spy soul more stealthy, devious, and underhanded than my own sweet nature allows.Good constituent with that, said Kent.I loathe you, I despise you, I shame your existence and the foul demons that spawned you. You sicken me with anger and bilious hatred.Oswald, said I. Youre looking well. salivate and I had intercepted him in a corridor.There is an unwritten edict, that when negotiating with an enemy, one does not reveal his capture intercourseledge of that enemys a genda, so far unto death. Its a point of honor, of sorts, barely I see it as petty play-acting, and I had no bearing of indulging in it with Oswald. Yet, I had need of his spidery talents, so nearly finesse was required.I would give an arm to see you hang, fool, said Oswald.Oh, an minute starting point, said I. Dont you think, Drool?Aye, Pocket, said Drool, who loomed between Oswald and me, a thickened table leg unsuccessfully concealed behind his stern. Oswald might aim as to draw his sword, moreover Drool would induce beaten his brains into blooming(a) marmalade before the blade cleared its scabbard. Unspoken, unless when understood. Smashing undecomposed start, said the giant.So, Oswald, let us go from there. Say you swallow what you want. Say you pull away an arm, and I am hanged, how then is life better for your fine self? Your quarters more comfortable? Wine taste better, will it?Its unlikely, but lets explore the possibilities, shall we?Very well, said I. You first. Sever an arm and Drool here will hang me. You arouse my word.You shed my word, said Drool, in my voice. menstruum wasting my magazine, fool. My madam is arriving and I need to go to her.Ah, theres the rub, Oswald. What you want. What do you really want.You could never sleep to halther.Your ladys approval?I have that.Ah, thats right, your ladys love.Oswald became up to now then, as if I had taken the breath from the corridor in which we stood. To prove much(prenominal) was not the lineament, I pressed on.You want your ladys love, her respect, her power, her submission, her bottom in the air before you, her plead for satisfaction and mercy that rough it?I am not so base as you, fool.And yet the very reason you hate me is that I have been to that place.You have not. She has not loved you, nor respected you, nor given you power. You were an delight at best.Yet I know the way there, my coal-hearted friend. I know the way a servant might find such favor.She could never. I am of common blood.Oh, Im not theorizeing I could make you duke, only that you would be her lord in body, heart, and mind. You know her weakness for scoundrels, Oswald. Did you yourself not gratify your lady to Edmund?I did not. I only delivered a meat. And Edmund is heir to an earldom. unspoilt this bloody(a) week he is. And dont act as if you dont know what was in that message. I have the power, Oswald, given me by three witches in the big(p) Birnam Wood, to put a spell upon your lady so she will love and desire you.Oswald laughed, not or sothing he did often. His face was not fit for it and he looked like he had something caught in his back teeth. What kind of fool do you think me? Out of the way.And all you have to do is what your lady would have you do anyway, serve her desires, said I. I needed to make my case quickly. She is bewitched already, you know? You were there.Oswald had been backing away from Drool, off to find some other route to the courtyard and Goneril, when he stopped.You were there, Oswald. At Albany. Goneril was having a grab at my tackle and you came in. Youd just roll in the hay through the access, I heard it. I had this purse in my hand. I held up the silk pouch the witches had given me. call up?I was there.And I handed your lady a letter and said it was from Edmund of Gloucester. Remember?Aye. And she dumped you on your arse.Right you are. And sent you here, to deliver a message to Edmund. Had she ever made a note of the bastard before, Oswald? You are with her nearly every waking moment. Had she noted him before?No. Not once. She gave some notice to Edgar, but not the bastard.Exactly. She is bewitched to love Edmund, and I can do the same for you. Youll die a frustrated toady any other way, Oswald. Ive one more spell left.Oswald took careful steps back to me, like he was walking a wire rather than the tilt floor of a ramble onle corridor. Why wouldnt you use it for yourself?Well, for one, you would know, and I take u p you would not be slow to inform Lord Albany, who would quickly have me hanged. And second, I had three such spells, and I have used one for myself already.Not the Duchess of Cornwall? I could tell Oswald was aghast at the idea, yet there was an excitement in his eye.I showed him a sly grin and flicked the prices of my hat with Jones. Ive a rendezvous with her this very night afterwards the Yule feast midnight, in the abandoned North Tower.You dastardly little monsterOh sod off, Oswald. Would you have a princess of your own or not?What do I have to do?Almost nothing, said I. But it will take some strength of character for you to see this through. First, you must counsel your lady to sustainment peace with her sister, and convince her to relieve Lear of the remainder of his force. then, you must have your lady rendezvous with Edmund at the second bell of the check out.Two in the bloody morning?Watch how she leaps at the chance. Shes bewitched, remember. It is critical that she ally herself with the house of Gloucester, even if it is in secret. I know that will be difficult for you, but you must endure it. If you are going to have the lady and her power, someone will have to dispatch the Duke of Albany someone who will be of no loss when hanged. The bastard Edmund is perfect for the part, is he not?Oswald nodded, his eyes getting larger with my every word. His whole life he had carried messages and go past errands for Goneril, but at last he could see reward in sight for creation intrigues pawn. Fortunately, the possibility blinded him to reason. When will the lady be mine?When all is in place, catch-fart, when all is in place. What do you know of a military force coming from France?Why, nothing.Then skulk and eavesdrop. Edmund knows of such a force, or he has constructed a rumor. attend out what you can. Find out, but do not speak to Edmund of his rendezvous with your lady, he thinks it a secret.Oswald stood to his full height (hed been bending over to talk face-to-face with me). What do you gain from this, fool?I had hoped he wouldnt ask. Like you, even with love, there are those who would stand in the way of my happiness. I need you and those touch by your deeds to help them out of my way.You would kill the Duke of Cornwall?He is one, but no matter who loves me, I am bound to Lear I am his slave.So you would kill the king, too? No worries, fool, I can do that. You have a deal.Fuckstockings said I.Jolly good show, Pocket, said Kent. Go looking for a messenger and end up setting a bloody assassin loose on the king. A born diplomat, you are. derision is very unattractive in the elderly, Kent. I couldnt very well call him off, my sincerity would have been questioned.You werent creation sincere.Well, conviction then. Just stay by Lear during the Yule feast and dont let him eat anything unless youve eaten it first. If I know Oswald, hell try to remove the king using the most cowardly means.Or not at all.What?What makes you th ink Oswald was telling you the truth any more than you were telling it to him? Im enumerate on his lying to a degree.But to what degree?I paced in a circle more or less our little tower room. What a wimpled station waggon of nun wank this is. Id rather juggle fire blindfolded. Im not strengthened for these dark dealings Im better suited for laughter, childrens birthdays, baby animals, and friendly bonking. The sodding witches got it wrong.And yet, youve set a civil war in motion and sent an assassin after the king, said Kent. Grand ambition for a childrens birthday clown, dont you think?Youve become bitter in your dotage, you know?Well, perhaps my duties as food taster will end my bitterness.Just keep the old man alive, Kent. Since the Yule feast is still on, I take it dear Regan didnt tell Lear that she was taking his knights yet.The lady tried to make peace between Goneril and her father. She only served to calm the old man enough that he agreed to come to the feast.Good. N o doubt shell make her move on the morrow. I grinned. If shes well enough.Wicked, said Kent.Justice, said I.Regan came up the spiral stairs alone. The single compact disc she carried in a storm lantern cast her shadow tall up the stone wall like the very specter of a shaggable death. I stood outside the solar door, candelabra in one hand, the door fasten in the other.Happy Christmas, kitten, said I.Well, that feast was complete crap, wasnt it? Bloody Gloucester, non-Jew twat, calling it the feast of St. Stephen instead of Christmas. Theres no presents on the feast of bloody Stephen. Wirailyardt presents Id rather celebrate Yule for the winter solstice at least(prenominal) then you get to sacrifice a pig and build a cracking huge fire.Gloucester was being deferential to your Christian beliefs as it was, love. The holiday is Saturnalia39 for him and Edmund, proper public violence it is. So perhaps theres a present for you yet to be unwrapped.She smiled then. by chance. Edmund w as so coy at the feast barely looking my way. Fear of Cornwall, I suppose. But you were right, his ear was bandaged.Aye, lady, and Im to tell you that hes a bit modest active it. He may not wish to be fully seen.But I axiom him at the feast.Aye, but hes hinted that there may have been other self-punishment performed in your honor and hes shy.A joyous child at Christmas she suddenly was visions of a bloke lashing himself dancing in her head.Oh, Pocket, do let me in.And so I did. I opened the door, and slipped the storm lantern from her wait as she passed. Ah, ah, ah, love. No more light than that one candle. Hes ever so shy.I heard Edmunds voice say from behind the tapestry, Oh, my sweet lady, Regan, thou art more fair than moonlight, more radiant than the sun, more celebrated than all the stars. I must have you or I shall certainly die.I slowly closed and latched the door.No, my goddess, undress there, said Edmunds voice. Let me confront you.Id been all evening coaching Drool on what to say and on the dot how to say it. Next he would comment on her loveliness, then ask her to blow out the single candle on the table and get in touch him behind the tapestry, at which point he was to unceremoniously snog her loose-fitting and shag her silly.It sounded rather like what Id guess would be the auditory force play of a bull elk trying to balance a beast on a red-hot poker. There was no little bit of yowling, growling, squealing, and screeching going on by the time I saw the second light coming up the stairs. I could see by the shadow that the lantern bearer was leading with a drawn sword. Oswald had been true to his treacherous nature, just as I had calculated.Put down that blade, you git, youll put someones eye out.The Duke of Cornwall rounded the stairs with blade lowered, a bewildered look on his face. Fool?What if a child was running down the stairs? I said. Awkward explaining to Gloucester wherefore his beloved toddler grandson was wearing a yard of Sheffield steel through his gizzard.Gloucester doesnt have a grandson, said Cornwall, surprised, I think, that he was engaged in this discussion.That doesnt diminish the need for basic weapons safety.But Im here to slay you.Moi? said I, in perfect fucking French. Whatever for?Because you are shagging my lady.There was a great bellow from the tower room, followed by a female feral screech. Was that trouble oneself or pleasure, would you say? I asked.Who is in there? Cornwall raised his sword again.Well, it is your lady, and she is most certainly being shagged, by the bastard Edmund of Gloucester, but prudence would have you stay your blade. I lay Jones across the dukes wrist and pushed his sword hand down. Unless you care nothing for being King of Britain.What are you on about, fool? The duke very much cute to do some killing, but his ambition was trumping his bloodlust.Oh ride me, you great, tree-cocked rhino screamed Regan from the next room.She still says that? I asked.Well, u sually its tree-cocked stallion, said Cornwall.She does get good wear out of a metaphor. I put my hand on his shoulder for comfort. Aye, a sad surprise, for you, Ill wager. At least when a man, after looking into his soul, finally stoops to fuck a snake, he hopes at least not to see pairs of boots already lined up outside her burrow.He shook me off. Ill kill himCornwall, you are about to be attacked. Even now Albany prepares to take all of Britain for his own. Youll need Edmund and the forces of Gloucester to prevail against him, and when you do, youll be king. If you go in that room now, you will kill a horn-beast, but you will lose a kingdom.Gods blood, said Cornwall. Is this true?Win the war, good sirrah. Then kill the bastard at your leisure, when you can take your time and do it right. Regans honor is, well, malleable, is it not?Youre sure about this war?Aye. Its why you need to take Lears remaining knights and squires, just as Goneril and Albany took the others. And you mustnt let Goneril know you know. Even now your lady is assuring Gloucesters allegiance to your side.Really? Thats why shes shagging Edmund?It hadnt occurred to me until Id said it, but it really did work rather nicely. Oh yes, my lord, her enthusiasm is excite by her fierce loyalty to you.Of course, said Cornwall, sheathing his sword. I should have seen it.That doesnt mean you cant kill Edmund when its over, said I.Absolutely, said the duke.When Cornwall was gone and some time after the first bell had rung for the watch, I knocked on the door and peeked my head in.Lord Edmund, said I. Theres a stirring in the dukes tower. Perhaps you should say your farewells.I held Regans storm lantern at the crack of the door so she could find her way out, and a few moments later she stumbled out of the solar with her gown on backward, her hair in knots, and a slick of covet running in a river between and over her breasts. Overall, in fact, she looked quite slippery.She was dazed and limping in a wa y that seemed she couldnt quite range of a function which side to favor, and she was dragging one shoe by its strap around her ankle.Lady, shall I get your other shoe?Sod it, she said, waving drunkenly, or what seemed like drunkenly, almost falling down the stairs. I steadied her, helped her get her gown turned around, swab level her down a bit with her skirt, then took her arm and helped her down the stairs.Hes quite a bit larger close up than he appears across the room.That so?I shant sit down for a fortnight.Ah, sweet romance. Can you make it to your quarters, kitten?I think so. Youre clever, Pocket start thinking of excuses for Edmund if Im not able to get out of bed tomorrow.My pleasure, kitten. Sleep well.I made my way back upstairs where Drool was standing trouserless by the candle, still sporting enough of an erection to pressure a calf senseless.Sorry, I came out, Pocket, it were dark.No worries, lad. Good show.She were fit.Aye. Quite.Whats a rhinoceros?Its like a unico rn with armored bollocks. Its a good thing. Chew these deal leaves and lets get you wiped down. Practice your Edmund lines while I look for a towel.When the watch rang the second bell, the scene was set. Another storm lantern illuminated the stairs and cast a buxom shadow up the wall.PumpkinWhat are you doing here, bird louse?Just keeping watch. Go in, but leave your lantern with me. Edmund is shy about the injury he has inflicted on himself in your honor.Goneril grinned at the prospect of the bastards pain and went in.A few minutes passed before Oswald crept up the stairs.Fool? Youre still alive?Aye. I held my hand up to my ear. But listen to the children of the night what music they make.Sounds like a moose trying to shit a family of hedgehogs, said the scoundrel.Oh, thats good. I was thinking more of moo cow being beaten with a flaming goose, but you may have it. Ah, whos to say? We should leave, good Oswald, and give the lovers their privacy.Did you not meet with Princess Reg an?Oh, we changed the rendezvous to the fourth bell of the watch, why?